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I no longer agree with [the book’s] central idea that dating should be avoided.
I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner. [In the book] There are other weaknesses too: in an effort to set a high standard, the book emphasized practices (not dating, not kissing before marriage) that are not in the Bible.
He admitted to NPR in 2016 that the rules he outlined in IKDG were “very speculative.” “I had not walked through that relationship yet myself,” he said.
He was full of idealism and short on real-life experience. But many Christian parents, fearful of their kids’ budding romantic lives, saw a godly young man who offered a way to avoid the heartache and danger of traditional dating. The ones that didn’t became more nuanced, thanks to real-world experience and exposure to diverse viewpoints.
In trying to warn people of the potential pitfalls of dating, it instilled fear for some—fear of making mistakes or having their heart broken.
The book also gave some the impression that a certain methodology or relationships would deliver a happy ever-after ending—a great marriage, a great sex life—even though this is not promised by scripture."(IKDG).
But this post isn’t about my thoughts on dating vs. (You can read those here and here.) Regardless of whether you agree with 1997 Harris or 2018 Harris, we can all take two warnings and an example from his statement.
Harris admits that his book “emphasized practices …
He is also offering a free e Book called comes to a close.
Many teens saw a savvy guy who promised them a magnificent love story if certain steps were followed. I believe young people should be a vocal part of civil discourse, not silenced because of their age. But I also thank God I wasn’t catapulted into the national spotlight just then. In short, I was the furthest thing from an expert, still figuring out my own beliefs. He was a vocal and active part of his faith community — which was good.
So people began viewing the naive Harris as a Christian relationship guru. This is another common pitfall, and not just for Christians. As a high school student, I regularly wrote columns for my local newspaper. But he was still figuring out his own beliefs, even if he didn’t realize it at the time.
(There have also been spiteful, hateful comments that have angered and hurt me.)” Harris says he regrets and even repents for his former “self-righteous, …
fear-based approach to life, the teaching of my books, my views of women in the church, and my approach to parenting to name a few.” Now, Harris adds one more prominent regret: His beliefs on LGBT issues.’ My heart is full of gratitude.
“Of course there have also been strong words of rebuke from religious people,” Harris says.