Online dating friends first
Today I want to talk about pursuing women under the guise of friendship. Or I know she doesn’t like me but I like her so I’ll hang around her as much as I can and hope that eventually somehow she will “like” me. I feel legitimate pain in my heart for you if that is where you are at. So they “hang out” (read date but without any kind of responsibility) with their “friend”. So have you ever used the “friend’s first” strategy?
This is especially important in the “Christian” dating (or courting or whatever you call it) culture. Maybe I’ll join her small group, join her cause (something she is passionate about) or worst of all, I “minister” to her, thinking that eventually she will like me. What I’m talking about here is using the friendship angle when you don’t mean it. Maybe it’s a girl who you think you should be attracted to or who your friends want you to be attracted to. You already know you aren’t attracted to this person – or you’d ask her out. Look, at one point or another in the last 25 years I’ve done all of the above.
The data in the study come from the How Couples Meet and Stay Together survey, which is the most comprehensive data collected on romantic relationships in the US.
The survey allows for multiple answers to the question about how people met, so a recent rise of people meeting at bars and restaurants is not down to serendipity but rather people who arranged to meet for dinner or a drink via online dating sites.
That makes online dating by far the most common way that American couples now meet.
Instead of meeting our partners in school, at work, or through friends and family, many of us now meet them online.
They also note that the share of people who first met online and were previously strangers rose from about 81% in 2009 to almost 90% in 2017.
Finally, they note that online couples don’t appear to be any more likely to break up than those who met “in real life.”Thomas says that people often underestimate the huge cultural shift that online dating has had on society.
Research suggests that online dating has led to more interracial marriages, more couples with different religions and levels of education, and also pairings with partners who tend to be closer in age (pdf).
So as I’ve mentioned before I’ve read a whole lot of online profiles. One thing that always makes me laugh is when the woman says something to the effect of, “I want to marry my best friend” or, “I want to be friends first.” Gentlemen, don’t believe this. The whole friends first thing is just a safety measure.
“Now it is basically an individual quest.” This has also created a $4 billion-plus industry to help people on that quest (paywall).