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Make a list of five qualities you have that are important or meaningful — things that make you a good relationship prospect (e.g., you are supportive or emotionally available), a good friend (e.g., you are loyal or a good listener), or a good employee (e.g., you are responsible or have a strong work ethic).
Then choose one of them and write a quick paragraph or two (write, don’t just do it in your head) about why the quality matters to others, and how you would express it in the relevant situation.
Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in daily life.
Our risk of rejection used to be limited by the size of our immediate social circle or dating pools.
People who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behavior, remain in the tribe, and pass along their genes.
Of course, emotional pain is only one of the ways rejections impact our well-being.
As social animals, we need to feel wanted and valued by the various social groups with which we are affiliated.We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves.In other words, just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.Here are just some of them: Tempting as it might be to list all your faults in the aftermath of a rejection, and natural as it might seem to chastise yourself for what you did “wrong” — don’t!By all means review what happened and consider what you should do differently in the future, but there is absolutely no good reason to be punitive and self-critical while doing so. Another common mistake we make is to assume a rejection is personal when it’s not.
When our spouse leaves us, when we get fired from our jobs, snubbed by our friends, or ostracized by our families and communities for our lifestyle choices, the pain we feel can be absolutely paralyzing.